Day 13 - 5 Weaknesses

Wow - I'm a sucker for a lot of things so listing 5.....

1. Reeses Eggs - these are my FAVORITE!! and most definately not on ANY kind of diet, eating good plan...
2. A cute pair of shoes - I love shoes. I like for all of my shoes to match my outfits, tennis shoes included so when I find a cute pair (especially a cute pair on clearance) I get them. I can't help it, they just call my name. (My 12 year old girl sparkle BOBS are among my favorite )

3. A purse - I go through purses like no other, I change purses for different outfits....kind of like shoes so I usually end up with quite a few.
4. Jayden - I know that sounds weird but I have a hard time telling her no when she wants something. Most of the time she gets it, especially if she has been good and done what she was supposed to. (I am admitting that I am part of the reason that she's spoiled, this will be the ONLY time I mention that so you'd better write it down)  :)

5. TV - I am not a junkie (well not all the time) but my list of shows that I watch seems to be growing by the day....and season.....and the DVR is constantly filling up. I can't help it, I get suckered in and then I have to watch them....good example is Teen Mom 2 (otherwise known by some as Teen Whore) I watch that show, pretty religiously....

Day 12 - A Day In The Life Of Me :)

I would love to say that I have this beautiful morning wake up routine where I set my alarm and get up happy and get things accomplished around the house before I leave but let me be COMPLETELY honest....our house in the mornings is a 3 ring circus.

6:35am - when my alarm first goes off....(snooze until 6:45am)

6:45-7:00am - shower/get dressed....

7:00am - get Jayden up (that requires patience...she's as horrible as I am about waking up in the mornings)

7:00am-7:25am - Jayden and I both get ready in my bedroom/bathroom (lots of arguing, yelling, crying is typically common) and I then try to leave the house

7:30ish-12:30ish - Work

 

12:30pm-1:30pm - Lunch (usually with the man) - this is one of my favorite parts of my day :)

1:30pm-4:30pm - Work

After work I usually come home and relax/play with Jayden/see what Papaw has been letting her do since they got home.... for about an hour or so before I start working on dinner. Lately dinner has been easier because there has been a menu that we have stuck by so it took away the guessing factor of what to cook.

6:30pm-7:30pm - Dinner (we typically try to eat anywhere between 6:30 or 7)

After dinner I work on getting Jayden geared up for a bath and getting ready for bed. I have tried lately to do the bath thing while dinner is cooking so that she has time after dinner to watch TV...(last night we played a game) and it's a more enjoyable night for her.

8:00pm - Jayden's in bed watching her TV before lights and TV out around 9:00pm

Once Jayden goes to bed my night drastically slows down....I usually change clothes into PJ's (if I haven't already) and then I will watch TV (usually in my room). Most nights are spent with me at least in bed when Jayden goes to sleep and watching TV until anywhere from 10:00pm - 11:00pm. Then I'm asleep and ready to start it all over again the next morning :)

30 Days of Blogging....or a few days of blogging multiple days :)

So of course...I'm behind again....I may set a new goal....to post all of the days in a 30 day period...I seem to be better at that...

Day 8 - What are 3 Passions?

This question is rather challenging....not something that I guess I have ever really thought about....so here goes :)

1. Children - and not having kids and raising kids but taking care of kids. It hurts my heart, like make me cry hurts my heart to see kids hungry. To see them hurt and struggling. I went with my old church a few times to feed homeless people in Atlanta and while it was sad and something that was eye opening nothing effected me more than 1 ordinary Saturday when we went down to little 5 points and among the people we fed that day was a girl my age with a daughter the same age as Jayden. It broke my heart. I cried, I cried because that poor girl, both of them. I cried because it hit so close to home for me and knowing that they were out on the street all day and night. Knowing that even though she was doing all she could as a mom who's family had abandoned her, she wasn't giving that child everything that she needed. I can't stand to know that anyone is hungry...much less a child. Myself along with MILLIONS of others take so much for granted and it only takes a few eye opening experiences to slap you in the face with that reminder.

2. I don't know if you would call this a passion but it's something that is me. I want everything to be fair. More than I want it to be that way I strive and work hard to make things fair for other's in my life.....it's something that I WILL get upset about, and even though I know it can't always happen and welcome to adult hood I go out of my way to make it as close to this as possible. I hate being the person who got the short end of the stick so I don't want someone else to feel that way either.

3. Mentally Challenged People - whether it be kids, adults or anywhere in between I love them. They are people too, they may have problems that make them different but who doesn't have something about them that makes them different? I HATE like CAN'T STAND HATE to see someone saying something either about someone else behind their back, either by making fun of....or even the bold ones who say rude comments to them. It breaks my heart.


Day 9- What Defines You?

What defines me....mom, daughter (the best daughter ever...to be exact), grand daughter (see previous), girlfriend, best friend, sister (she's a really lucky girl)....office manager, american indian...niece, cousin....there are many words. Ultimately the first answers are what comes to mind first....and as in anything that I have ever said/read before....whatever is the first to come to mind is the most important. I am a mom above all else...I took on that roll 5 years ago and that quickly became the most important thing ever.

Day 10 - Most Embarrassing Moment

So this one time, at the mall....I decided that I would try and run up the escalator to try and get away from my mom....needless to say....I am clumsy and I fell. I busted an entire large sweet tea all over everywhere, and I rode all of the way down the escalator on my stomach to my wonderfully mad mom at the bottom. She was mad then, but will probably laugh at this story now :)

Day 11 - A Few Pet Peeves

1. If you are driving slower than me, MOVE OVER. I don't care if you are going over or under the speed limit, move over.

2. Waiters/Waitresses are people too....and I know that they have to earn a tip, but they are not your slaves and deserve respect. EVERYONE deserves respect.

3. Prejudice People - its 2013....not 1950....get over it.

4. Black People who think that they are owed because their family was slaves - again its 2013...not 1950....I didn't enslave one of your family members, you aren't a slave....get off your butt, get a job or an education....you have the same privileges as everyone else....quit whining.

5. "I'm a SINGLE MOM, I CAN'T work!" That's crap.....I'm living proof that's crap, but thanks I love being away from my child working to not only support my child but to support yours too!

6. Calling People Stupid - I can't stand to hear someone degrade someone. I don't care if they just made the dumbest decision ever....a verbal lashing and down grading them isn't going to help. It's mean.


Ok so again....I am going to try and keep this thing caught up....we will see....  :)   HAPPY MONDAY!!

Days 5,6,and 7.....Don't Ask...

Ok back to this whole "slacker" thing....here are days 5, 6, and 7....thanks Betsy for reminding me just how behind I am!!

Day 5 - What are 5 things that make you the happiest right now?

1. Watching Jayden grow - she is doing awesome, she's so smart and it makes me so happy to know that she's working hard and enjoys learning and being independent.
2. My job - I love the fact that I have every weekend and holiday off. I enjoyed my job at 911 but I hated missing half of Jayden's life....this gives me the opportunity to spend time with her and still be able to work. I have the flexiblity now to not miss school parties and functions. I am very fortunate to be where I am.
3. Coming Home - I used to love to be gone, the first chance I had to leave I was gone. I love being home now. I love spending time with my family and the people there.
4. My best friend - He makes me happy, I didn't know that I could love someone so much, he works very hard for me and our relationship and makes me a very happy person.
5. My friends in general - Nothing can compare to girls night where we sit and laugh til we cry. I have a few close friends and I wouldn't trade them for the world.


Day 6 - What is the hardest thing that you have ever experienced?

Losing my grandfather. I have never gone through anything so trying and traumatic to me. It was horrible, and that's putting it lightly. Once we found out that he had pancreatic cancer I cried all the time, I didn't sleep well, and overall I was just a mad person. I was mad that this had to happen to my family, I was mad that he was still so young, I was just mad. He wasn't supposed to leave me ever, much less now, I didn't handle it well, honestly I tried as best I could to not handle it at all. After he passed away I tried to act like it didn't happen, I would just cry at random times and sometimes the oddest things would just break my heart. It has been 18 months since he passed away and I still hurt, I still miss him and my family although we are making it and things are starting to feel like normal again....there is still a hole, there is still that missing puzzle piece that just makes it all fit.


Day 7 - What is your dream job and why?

This is a funny question just because I have been researching jobs a lot lately so that I can go back to school and finish my degree. I have decided on something in the purchasing/marketing/social media field. I look forward to a career in that. My ultimate dream job would include being off with paid holidays, being off for Jayden's and family functions, not working night hours, being off with my family on the weekends. I have a thing for me, it has been a personal goal of mine and I want to make enough money to feel like I contribute like I could take care of my family if I had to but more than the money I want to have a job that enables me to not only have but enjoy my family. One where I don't spend every waking hour in an office but I get to see Jayden and watch her grow and be an active parent in her life. She will remember that far more than the money that her mom made.

**ok there is 3 days in 1 - hopefully I am going to get back to doing this daily (like I am supposed to)**

Day 3 & 4 of the 30 Day Challenge

Because I was a COMPLETE SLACKER on Sunday, I am having to play catch up and do days 3 and 4 together.

Day 3 - What is the greatest amount of physical pain that I have ever endured?

To make a long story short I found out I was pregnant by having to have my appendix taken out....In my life I have had an appendectomy, a tonsilectomy, and a c-section....the appendectomy takes the cake (well the time leading up to the surgery). I never knew what great pain was until I was having the problems with my appendix. Breathing hurt, looking hurt, talking hurt, and to make it all better it made me sick to my stomach so the fact that I was physically sick on top of the pain I was in...yeah I was pretty sure I was dying.


Day 4 - List 6 Things You Would Tell Your 16 Year Old Self If You Could....

1. You ARE NOT an adult. You are a long ways from being an adult and whatever you think you are doing that makes you be one....you aren't. You are still a kid, you may be a teenager but you have no clue about adulthood and the future.

2. Since you are not an adult, enjoy your time at home....enjoy your time as a teenager, have fun because it doesn't last forever.

3. Take school seriously. It may seem easy, it may seem like it doesn't matter...but it does. Set goals, try graduating at the top of your class...do things to make college easier. You will regret not doing your best later on in life.

4. Choose your friends wisely....those people that you thought were your friends in high school, the ones that were at parties with you....the ones who smoked weed with you....the ones that you spent all your time with...some of them may have been your friends, but most of them weren't. My mom has a saying "Show me your friends and I will show you your future"...that's a great philosophy, think about it.

5. Douglasville, though it may be growing, is still a small town. Your family knows everyone, you will get caught. People will see you and know who you are. Be someone who makes your family proud. They aren't perfect but they have worked hard for you. They have provided you with things in life that people only dream about, don't abuse it, don't abuse them. Love them, let them enjoy your teenage years.

6. Spend time with your family...they will not be around forever. Make memories, laugh, love whole heartedly and enjoy life. You will look back one day and miss your family members so badly some days....don't take the days you have with them forgranted.

30 Day Challenge (Day 2) - 3 Legitimate Fears

3 Legitimate Fears....

1. Snakes - I mentioned this yesterday but this almost goes past a fear straight into a phobia. I am petrified of them. I know that most people don't like snakes but mine is absolute hate. I know that they have a purpose, I just haven't found out yet what it is or why we even need them around. Anything that can sneak up on me and then not only bite me, but bite a kill me is too much. They are horrible.

2. Someone Breaking Into My House - I have been scared of this for years now. It started around high school and has never left me. I wouldn't stay home by myself all night until I was 25 years old. I had someone follow me home for a week during high school and I have seen people looking into my windows before and I am completely creeped out by it.

3. I am scared of the effect of TJ not being around and what it will have on Jayden. I am scared that she will one day be mad at me for the situation and want him to be around. I am not scared of doing it without him, We have been doing it without him for 5 years now and we are doing just fine. I have the best support system that I could ever ask for and with everyone's help we make it. I am just scared that she will feel different, like she is missing out on something. I want her to have that bond, that feeling of having a father. I want her to know that her life circumstance may be different from her friends but that she's fortunate and that everyone's family is different but knowing how loved she is and that she didn't miss out on anything.

30 Days of Blogging Challenge

Ok, so I have completely lost my mind and have decided in all of my SPARE TIME to take on a blogging challenge...the 30 Days of Blogging Challenge to be exact. I will be doing this everyday "fingers crossed" for the next 30 days.

Day 1 - List 10 Random Facts About Yourself......

1. I am petrified of snakes - most people don't really like them, I am scared to death of them. I will cry and scream like a small toddler if I see one, scared of them.
2. I do not eat MOST condiments - this includes ketchup, mustard, mayo, salad dressing, most sauces. There are however rare exceptions....BBQ sauce and A-1 are the main two!
3. I love to read - underneath this "cool" exterior I'm really a closet nerd who loves to sit down with a good book and read my heart out. I tried not reading for most of high school because it wasn't "cool" to read...I guess I'm just not cool, I love it.
4. I'm a total shopaholic! There is nothing better than the sound of my debit card swiping and me carrying bags around in my hands. It just makes my whole day better!
5. While I am not a fast food junkie - I love french fries! It is the absolute worst thing that I can probably shove in my mouth and of course it's my favorite!
6. I have 2 tattoos - 1 on my back "tramp stamp"....I know....and then one on my foot. The one on my foot is my favorite, my back, well other than I got it the day after graduating high school....it really has no importance to me and I can't see it back there.
7. I didn't lose my first family member until I was 23 years old. I have been very fortunate to have healthy family members. My great grandmother died 2 weeks after I turned 23....other people are not always so lucky.
8. I have been going to college off and on since 2005.... that's 8 years now and I'm hoping to graduate next year with an associates degree in business. (Important Tip - stick with it because it's harder to go back than I thought it would be, and getting a job without a degree is almost impossible)
9. I am a music junkie. I love music, almost all kinds. I listen to everything from country to 80's, some pop and hip hop, and occasionally even some rap. Nothing makes your mood better for 3-5 minutes like a turning up a good song and singing at the top of your lungs!
10. I am probably the pickiest eater alive. I will only cook certain types of chicken, will eat no chicken with bones....etc...the list goes on.

There are 10 fun facts about me for day 1 of the challenge!

I Need To Start Doing These More Often....

So I have tons to write about but not so much space or people's attention to do it....mini recap of the past 2 or so weeks....Jayden in 1 day started riding her bike and lost her 2nd tooth! That was a HUGE day for her and she at that point became the greatest bike rider to ever ride a bike. Her riding in a straight line or turning and coming back turned into her telling me and others about the cool tricks she did and in her eyes she was AWESOME! That is really all that matters.



Jayden also went to her very first "formal" tea party for Valentine's Day last Saturday. The girls didn't dress up in their fanciest but each one had on valentines clothes and they drank out of real tea cups and had sandwiches, it was so cute!! She had a blast!!

 

As easy as it is to talk about Jayden all the time, (because I do it all the time), I made a decision last week, one that I made before but I didn't stick to well so I made another one. I started counting calories and watching what I eat and I am going to lose my weight. I am going to lose my weight from having Jayden....not just lose it and find it again but lose it and kick it to the curb. I am going to throw that weight away!! I did this after Pa died and I did great, I was down 40 lbs and then I stopped, I stopped watching as much what I ate in the sense of being cautious and more or less started watching it go into my mouth and then watched it grow on certain body parts to the point that I can't take it anymore. I am ok with never being a size 2, or 4, or even a 10 but I just wanted to be healthy. I just want to feel pretty again, I want to be able to jump with Jayden on her trampolene and to be a mom that she will be proud of. I want to be proud of myself and right now all I can see is a mom who has let herself go, more than once....one who doesn't wear make up or fix herself up anymore. One who eats whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and exercise...what is that? I haven't done any exercise in so long my body hates me for even thinking about it. So I started my profile on my fitness pal and I started counting my calories and I weighed myself the first day and away I went. I am now a week and 1 day in and I have cheated a little here and there but I have lost 7.5lbs. I weigh 7.5lbs less than I weighed last week, I still had dinner out with my family this weekend and I am surviving. I will make it this time, it make take some time (I believe that your life shouldn't stop because you are on a diet or watching what you are eating, and last night I had a cheeseburger and fries....well half of one) but I will make it and reach my goal. I don't have a weight goal....I have a healthy goal. I would love to be what I was in high school or even smaller, but what I want more than anything is to feel good again. To be happy when I look in the mirror and to be healthy.